confused

confused

I am sent from a book
to change history,
yours perhaps,
but I got trapped in this
subspace buffer.

Forgive me
the personifying I
the illusion of time
that lets us speak
but what other tools do we have
than to paint an angry brow
on actor's face
than to let rainbow scatter
a mosaic of stained facsimiles
glued by unpretty wax.

I've seen your anger
sparking life
in the delta quadrant.
There is a wormhole
out of the cave.

shameless

shameless

I thought today
there's nothing hidden about me
no undiscovered tenderness of embrace
no passion inside my mouth
some naked body

I thought today of writing this
poem I'd be ashamed of

a duty has dragged me out
of the walls
and has thrown me
into your smile

[who I am]

***

Who is possible
How to dare
Where do you wait for me
A green leaf trembles
at an anvil of desire
that hardens the question
How to create the place
that's your own

The paths flourish into life
beyond comprehension


---

who I am

I'm curled into a ball. All of me.
A coil of rope thrown under the deck.
The flickering of a lighthouse. A storm.
I am a burning sun. A red cliff.
I am what's tensed of a muscle.
A wet sweat. Your sweat. His sweat.
I am a river. You swim in me.
I flow through a green valley.
I am in her love to her little son.
In his voice loud and firm, I hear
my growing up.
I lose myself in despair
and I am the living on.

[original]

ultimate qualia

ultimate qualia

there's a silence between our kind and their kind
difficult to cross
verbs that cannot be shown
nouns that hardly fit joints

there's a longing that fills limbs
to the limits of their possibility
a love that tells a nuanced story
of patterning spans
owning space
gaining time

there's an awareness

an embodied relationship

choose life

choose life

choose to enter
do not wait
choose tension and pain
choose the progression of time --
choose a first
and every moment, every drop
stand firmly on the edge

choose that someone
who can come in

[kim jestem]

***

Kto jest możliwy
Jak się odważyć
Gdzie czekasz na mnie
Drży na wietrze zielone serduszko
Pragnienie przekuwa się
w stalowy znak zapytania
Jak stworzyć miejsce
w którym się rozpoznasz

Ścieżki rozkwitają w życie
przekraczające pojęcie

kim jestem

Jestem kłębkiem. Cały zwinięty.
Zwojem liny wrzuconym pod pokład.
Migotaniem latarni. Burzą.
Jestem słońcem co pali. Czerwoną ścianą skały.
Jestem mięśnia naprężeniem.
Mokrym potem. Twoim potem. Jego potem.
Jestem rzeką. Płyniesz we mnie.
Płynę przez zieloną dolinę.
W jej miłości do małego synka, jestem.
W jego głosie głośnym i pewnym, słyszę
swoje wzrastanie.
W rozpaczy tracę się
i jestem życiem dalej.

wrzesień 2008

ways of holding hands *** meditation

ways of holding hands

the ground carries the feet
the wind carries the laughter
the soil carries a seed
a leaf carries a dewdrop

you carry a watering pot

then we talk in Braille

------
[June 6, 2010]

meditation

I carry your weight on the shoulder

I carry your weight on the back

I carry your weight on the waist

I carry your weight on the thighs

I carry your weight on the chest

I carry your weight on the shoulder