redemption

redemption

I'm sorry for having stolen a glance at you.
I'm sorry for not having stolen a whole
bunch of laughs and trinkets
with a backstory.
A glance and I'm coming back to my senses
a sensual toe to a sensual top
and I'm all senses.
I would give you a gaze
that walks proud of every curve,
scrutinizing the knee and the belly --
where all movements begin.
My arms, shoulders, and hips
established by you.
You lax your shoulders, point your foot.
Chin up a smile, you let a leg behind
pick the notes of the piano.

friend

friend

He might not listen to my silence. I wonder.
I've heard of a couple
living on an island at the edge of the world
talking together for so long
that they now hear each other's heart in advance.
We don't live on an island, rather
we face each other like a storm.
I've heard of trees
with woven roots, branches supporting
wide high sky.
Each man supports many skies
and the pain fetters one into the shelter of self.
I dream of sky
wide and high
I dream of a forest
that breathes the strength of the stars.

thought

thought

It happens sometimes.
I'm dropped out.
I'm me, no, I'm moving
from room to the kitchen.
But I want. I want!
To be connected again.
So I try, I try to spell out your name
my way home should start
by pulling a name.
A name has hooks...
a chair hook, a painting hook, a smile hook
and a grip hook.
I pull by the smile hook
I get the eyes, the upper arm,
and it's moving! It's moving towards me.
I stretch out my arm
and I find relation.
Think! Think, therefore not I.
Thereof I cannot speak.

dance miniature #1

***

A buildup of hand over hand
quickly climbing a phrase, taking eyes for a ride
until a soft overflow into falling right angles
meanders a nest among hips.
Crawl out birdy Spanish fingers
pulling a blade out, inside out,
aligning in a long swift cut --
and retracting traces like an afterthought...
when snappily reminded, body turns:
and legs deal out the parallel,
threadly sustained.

to-do list

to-do list

to-do list: done
see attached
your focused look
digesting a technique
your silhouette in the mirror
a metaphor
of the dance going on
in your mind

patterns that bind you in my mind's eye
are like words of praise
not really describing anything
just expectant

attentiveness is
a nuanced dance
to-do: much more

[cisza] / [silence]

***

cisza --
polna mysza
umywa uszy
i szyje dalej


---
[translated: June 16, 2011]

***

silence!

harvest mice

stop to listen

then sail away

---

[update: May 30, 2019]

Originally I used "sew away" above, to match the Polish version semantically.

confused

confused

I am sent from a book
to change history,
yours perhaps,
but I got trapped in this
subspace buffer.

Forgive me
the personifying I
the illusion of time
that lets us speak
but what other tools do we have
than to paint an angry brow
on actor's face
than to let rainbow scatter
a mosaic of stained facsimiles
glued by unpretty wax.

I've seen your anger
sparking life
in the delta quadrant.
There is a wormhole
out of the cave.

shameless

shameless

I thought today
there's nothing hidden about me
no undiscovered tenderness of embrace
no passion inside my mouth
some naked body

I thought today of writing this
poem I'd be ashamed of

a duty has dragged me out
of the walls
and has thrown me
into your smile

[who I am]

***

Who is possible
How to dare
Where do you wait for me
A green leaf trembles
at an anvil of desire
that hardens the question
How to create the place
that's your own

The paths flourish into life
beyond comprehension


---

who I am

I'm curled into a ball. All of me.
A coil of rope thrown under the deck.
The flickering of a lighthouse. A storm.
I am a burning sun. A red cliff.
I am what's tensed of a muscle.
A wet sweat. Your sweat. His sweat.
I am a river. You swim in me.
I flow through a green valley.
I am in her love to her little son.
In his voice loud and firm, I hear
my growing up.
I lose myself in despair
and I am the living on.

[original]

ultimate qualia

ultimate qualia

there's a silence between our kind and their kind
difficult to cross
verbs that cannot be shown
nouns that hardly fit joints

there's a longing that fills limbs
to the limits of their possibility
a love that tells a nuanced story
of patterning spans
owning space
gaining time

there's an awareness

an embodied relationship

choose life

choose life

choose to enter
do not wait
choose tension and pain
choose the progression of time --
choose a first
and every moment, every drop
stand firmly on the edge

choose that someone
who can come in

[kim jestem]

***

Kto jest możliwy
Jak się odważyć
Gdzie czekasz na mnie
Drży na wietrze zielone serduszko
Pragnienie przekuwa się
w stalowy znak zapytania
Jak stworzyć miejsce
w którym się rozpoznasz

Ścieżki rozkwitają w życie
przekraczające pojęcie

kim jestem

Jestem kłębkiem. Cały zwinięty.
Zwojem liny wrzuconym pod pokład.
Migotaniem latarni. Burzą.
Jestem słońcem co pali. Czerwoną ścianą skały.
Jestem mięśnia naprężeniem.
Mokrym potem. Twoim potem. Jego potem.
Jestem rzeką. Płyniesz we mnie.
Płynę przez zieloną dolinę.
W jej miłości do małego synka, jestem.
W jego głosie głośnym i pewnym, słyszę
swoje wzrastanie.
W rozpaczy tracę się
i jestem życiem dalej.

wrzesień 2008

ways of holding hands *** meditation

ways of holding hands

the ground carries the feet
the wind carries the laughter
the soil carries a seed
a leaf carries a dewdrop

you carry a watering pot

then we talk in Braille

------
[June 6, 2010]

meditation

I carry your weight on the shoulder

I carry your weight on the back

I carry your weight on the waist

I carry your weight on the thighs

I carry your weight on the chest

I carry your weight on the shoulder

[hate]

***

a wardrobe hugged me

a fridge hugged me

a wall hugged me
its bare cold bone on my cheek

the screen leaned over to me
looked into me
let me grow into its bits
sink into its white

why do I hate


---
 2010


Edited 2020.

ve story

ve story

ve is twelve
ve has been twelve for a long time

ve travels in a spaceship
with vis dad
most of the time they're in hibernation
when ve monitors the systems
ve likes to read books

a journey to planets takes long

now they live on a dark blue planet
where navy clouds don't have shapes
and neither do shadows
dad reminds ver
to be careful around local kids
ve has a disease
vis tears are toxic
lethally to the people of the navy snow

ve is so happy to have a friend
to play with on the cushioned ledges
to take ver on adventure

they sit swinging their legs
as always
somewhat apart

? [commuting]

***

I'm commuting, room to room
task to task

from bed to noon
across the gulf of evenings
Neanderthal's sequenced genome
slapstick comedies "from the stream"

the awaiting harbors
getting tougher to reach

source code

source code

he bought me balloons
licked by the sun
our feet licked by the white
animal's tongue
strolling on the beach
I've grown two inches taller
his smile
writing a book in me

***

little tongues of salt on my boots
when he slammed the door
my trembling attention
captured by the frost

alien code
on the glass


--- [tłumaczenie: 30 V 2010]

kod źródłowy

kupił mi balony
słońca lizaki
nasze stopy liże biały
jęzor psiny
na tej plaży
urosłam o dwa palce
śmiele
ściskając jego dłoń

***

języczki soli na moich butach
gdy trzasnął drzwiami
rozkołataną uwagę
przykuł szron

obcy kod
na szybie



--- 5 XII 2010

-- 26 X 2018
Originally this poem had the following ending. I found a better ending for the Polish translation (the original ending refused to be translated). I back-translated the new ending now.

white flowers on the window glass
caught my trembling attention

I wonder the language
of their inner life

--8 III 2020
Added the line "strolling on the beach" / "na tej plaży'.

nadzieja / hope

 

nadzieja

podziwiam
jak do mnie machasz
zza brzegu wyobraźni

---

--- translated Sep 12, 2020:


      hope


I admire
you reaching out
from beyond the imagined

--- literal translation Nov 7, 2020:


      hope


I admire
how you wave to me
from beyond the shores of imagination

lament

lament

I've lost senses
and my face
but no one noticed
no one knows me
the body aspires
and there's a hearty smile

the empty core
cannot see
cannot smell

phoenix

phoenix

over the land of thousand nets
falls a drop, and a drop follows
until the sand can bear no more
and sinks the Sun in crimson

when the life on thousand wings
tires of struggle, a dream shatters
woven into an eyrie of flames
that eat the paths, and birds cry
and wolves flee in the open

a red-feathered wisdom, a secret garden, a thousand paths
to you, to me

a thousand tomorrows
resonate